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The Web World of Susan Garner

Poetry and Prose

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July 21, 2007

 

ALWAYS HIS CHILD

 

When life seems the darkest,

More lonely than ever before,

And I'm wondering if anyone

Cares anymore if I live or die,

When I question my existence

And ponder how I got here...

What do I do now? Is there a way?

I've hit the end of the road.

I need help. I can't do this alone.

This mistake cannot be fixed.

I've blown it. My life is ruined.

My family is hurting and scared.

My little boy needs me and I'm

Not there for him. My daughter,

Scared I won't be back, wonders

Why daddies do stupid things.

In the still of the night, I think

On these things and wonder

What I can do to change them.

It's then that I feel His presence.

I feel His arms about me.

I sense His warmth and love.

In the quiet stillness, I hear Him.

A tiny whisper, saying "Lean on Me."

July 7, 2007
 
FIREWORKS
 

In the refrigerator of love

Lines of delineation blur

As new recipes are tested

For approval or denied.

An example can be seen

In the two splits of breast,

Pursued in season by

One lone strip steak.

Enamored, he cleaves to

A favored breast without

Considering how this new

Life will change his role.

Little peas come to visit to

Escape the now-grown pods.

Green Beans add variety

As they snap over to visit.

The second split of breast

Arrives to seek a niche of

Peace and solitude, with

Intentions of friendship.

The shelf becomes cramped.

Fireworks fly like the Fourth

Of July and the second breast

Now struggles with conflict.

Life, alone, loses its charm.

The breast kinship is strained.

The strip sends conflicting

Messages to the two breasts.

Does the strip not desire to

Be tied down by marriage?

Has the honey-do list

Lengthened with each day?

Is the excitement of unfettered

Years alone making the strip

Sense a new flavor he wants

Developed as a side dish?

Much inner turmoil ensues

As the lonely breast grapples to

Balance emotions and friendship.

Can there be a perfect recipe?

 

July 1, 2007

 

IS IT TIME?

 

Long cold fingers reached for his distress
To beckon he follow.
"A life of ease, no pain or suffering here..."
But...do I dare?

Rain-slicked road, dark of night, bright lights
Approaching.
An easy way to end it all, right now...
He swerved.

A scrunch of metal, then pain more intense
Than ever felt before
Preceded reality: I'm not ready to die.
He had swerved back.

Anger bubbled to the surface with his blood.
Life hurts. I hurt.
Why must I continue this painful life?
Oh, yeah...my kids...my family.

They need me alive. Emotions meshed
With physical pain.
Bones full of cancer, now broken and smashed.
Arms immoveable. How long until I’m found? Will I die now?
As I wait in a pool of red?
The truck, a total loss, now may be his coffin.
Is it, indeed, time?

Voices penetrate his vague consciousness.
Rescuers!
"Just let me die!" He hears himself say but
Realizes they won't.

Pain, excruciating, pushes him to the brink
As they pull him free.
Limp, he slips away, but yet he knows...
It isn't time.

 

 

June 29, 2007

 

PARADISE ISLE (ISLAND OF PARADISE)

 

Tranquil hideaway

Lush verdant floral escape.

Tropical romance.

 
 
June 11, 2007  Haiku
 
(published July, 2007 by Long Story Short, www.alongstoryshort.net)
 
Daffodil bright, spring's
Ageless beauty bursts anew.
Innocence blossoms.
 
 
 
 

March 14, 2007

11 words

SEASIDE COMPETITION

 

Silently
Undulating,
Surfers
Alienate
Normalcy

Gyrating
Aimlessly
Rendering
Nerve-wracking
Escapade
Revues

_____________________________________________________

 

March, 2007

MY LIFE AS A CLICHE


Shy shrinking violet
Unusually timid child
Serious demeanor
Angst of family, never
Naughty or wild.

Generation transpires
Author extraordinaire
Remembers realizations
Nuggets of nonfiction,
Empathetic ear
Renders education.

 

February 13, 2007
 
 
Colours of My World

 

Spectral shades endlessly

Entwine in never-ending circles

That mark the passage of time.

Vivid tangerine fushcia

Brilliance dawns.

Pink-swathed daughter

Amidst two sons

Wrapped with blue,

Eternal joys to buffer trials.

Sun sets as night falls.

Coral, mauve, slate,

Sunrise tiptoes in.

Grandson arrives!

Wedding garb of

White, black, and robin's egg blue,

Guests in multiple summer-time hues,

Park gazebo yields

Granddaughter bonus,

Grandma's enjoyment!

Son wed, glow of time

Slips past at close of day.

Shades of persimmon

Meld into lemon with

Traces of strawberry

Icing the sky.

Pinks and purples herald

New baby granddaughter!

New shirts, denim and

Exchange of rings.

No guests but

Daughter married.

Roseate pink colors my world, brings

Two more granddaughters by marriage

‘Til cerulean invades.

Day slinks away, beds down as

Morn awakes.

Rising sun, earth's flaming orb,

glow of cherry, blazes into dusk,

Echoes eras of my life.

Sunsets fade as  

Fuschia pales to sickly salmon,

Tangerine is bitter-sweet.

The hues of life 

Darken with heartache.

Chaos reigns.

Life is distorted.

Is there a second arc

To the rainbow???

 

 

 

February 10, 2007

"A BIT OF GRANDMA IN EVERY BYTE"

 

"A bit of Grandma in every byte"

‘Tis the reason given when

My computer I query.

The cause I question, for

Speed is of the essence

As it slows more each day.

Electronic brains and old age

Have much in common

As they keep their own timetables....

 

 

February 9, 2007

Chocolate goobers graciously given

A razzing reminder of friends’

"You’re nuts!"

Pleasant past-time provision,

Magical moments of mystic joy,

Side by side.

Sinful pleasure accompaniments,

Dove’s dark desires, supplier of

Edible ecstasy.

Wrapped together in a heart of love,

Tissue pearls and blessed prayers

For marital bliss!

God’s Blessings to you both,

Barbara and Harlan, with love.

 

 

12/20/2006

 

A HURT ABOVE ALL HURTS

 

He hit me tonight.

Punched me in my arm.

Don’t know if it’ll bruise.

But it bruised....Both

the bone and my psyche.

He’s never hit me like that.

Never in twelve years.

Said he hoped it would

bruise. Said I deserved it.

I slammed his doors,

Three times, he said.

Said I lied. (But I never

promised to dress in

ten minutes); and we

were right on time.

I slammed the doors

to show I was angry!

He’d said I made him

late; he didn’t want

me to take time to

buckle my granddaughter.

State Law says

buckle or pay.

I want her alive.

I want her well.

And I don’t

want to do jail.

I buckled her

myself, but I

still paid; first

he yelled, then

came the sudden

punch to my arm.

 

Scared my grandbaby,

scared me. But what

hurt most was seeing

her scared. She wet

her pants. She told

her momma "Paw-paw

hurt Gramma.." He’s

not really her Paw-paw.

Thank God. I’m not

sure anymore if he

even deserves the title.

Was I wrong?

I think no.

Was he right?

I think no.

But the bruise he caused

tonight may be a bruise

that never ever heals....

 

 

August, 2006

Jesus Loves Even Me (I Am Loved)

 

As a baby, I did not speak clearly, but Jesus loved me because God had made me.

I became a child who tested authority but Jesus still loved me. God had been His example, so He knew how to forgive me.

As a teenager, I felt guilty after being violated by human male, yet the spirit of Jesus Christ never left my side.

I became an adult who failed to see the need to attend church, but Jesus still loved even me.

As a parent of young children, it became too easy to stay

home and watch church on TV, but, despite this, Jesus never left my side.

I got busy and forgot to talk to Him, but He understood. He would wait patiently until I was free, then let me hear His voice to remind me that He was near.

My children became teens and decided church was "not cool".

The TV became the island of video games and movies, off-limits unless approved by the gamers. Thus, church was pre-empted by the latest game craze, but did Jesus ever leave me? No, He stayed at my side, loving even Me.

I realized I missed Him being in my life. Now I live by example, attending church every Sunday to pray that my children will realize sooner than I did that no matter what happens,

JESUS LOVES EVEN ME!!!

 

WHO AM I?

 

A child, yearning heart’s release, suffering secrecy’s silence....

A heart restored via music and song.

A connoiseur of words,

A mother,

A grandmother,

A nurse and empowerer.

A Christian with messages to nurture the soul,

Writing to transcend time

And rescind misguided reasoning.

 

Original Writing 9/1/2006

Edited to above version 10/18/2006

 

Published December, 2006, by

Long Story Short Ezine

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LONELINESS

Loneliness is a black hole consuming my existence.  It swirls around me unceasingly and without invitation.  My thoughts and desires suffocate in its' circular path, and I am left with a hollow emptiness of feeling, the shallow grave called depression, now familiar.

I recognize these feelings and realize my dislike.  I bid them farewell and send them on their way.  I reach for happiness, searching for a morsel of sun. 

I ponder my existence and find a happy thought.  I clench it close to my heart and smile for awhile, grateful for the opportunity to win my private battle, once again cheating that cruel hand of its' quest to rob my soul of happiness and dreams, as it replaces them with the dark void of

LONELINESS.

 
Written October 25, 2003.
 
Accepted for publication in March, 2007 by Long Story Short Ezine!

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Children's Books and Nonfiction